Self-Care

  • Making Self-Care a Daily Habit

    self-care

     

    A common side-effect of practicing mindfulness is that we start to notice the ways in which we neglect our well-being. Whether it’s unhealthy habits or addictions, stresses in our lives, or unkind judgemental thoughts about ourselves, in becoming more mindful we see these issues with greater clarity. With this new awareness can often come a desire to start treating ourselves with more care.

     

    For those of us who have been self-critical or neglectful of our well-being throughout our lives, self-care may at first feel a little awkward and unfamiliar. We might also not be so good at recognising when we need it. Developing a new, caring attitude towards ourselves can take time as we undo a lot of old, ingrained uncaring patterns and habits.

    At first we might only notice that we need self-care when we feel really low, like when we have the flu or when our depression is really bad. This is a great first step! However, self-care doesn’t have to end there. We can turn acts of self-care into a daily habit. With practice it may even start to come as naturally to us as brushing our teeth!

    Although small self-caring actions are better than none at all, to truly cement self-care into our natural way of being it may be useful to intentionally set aside at least 30 minutes a day to do something nice for yourself or to simply rest. That way you stop everything else that you’re doing and just focus on you.

    It could be that you take some time after work to do a relaxing yoga routine so that you can enjoy the rest of your evening, or that you go to bed earlier than usual to read a book. Or you might make a healthy meal with all of your favourite ingredients.

    It could even be that you sign into Netflix and order a pizza, just as long as you’re doing it with that intention of treating yourself nicely, rather than as a distraction or zoning out.

    Far from being selfish or self-indulgent, developing a daily self-care habit can give us more energy and resilience to deal with all other aspects of our lives. Over time, we can find balance in an unpredictable world.

     

    The Mindfulness Project offers a range of courses and workshops focused on self-compassion, including the 8-Week Mindful Self-Compassion Course. 

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    • Marina

      Meditation, Tea, scrapbooking, time with friends, board games and yoga with my kids, lunch dates and long curious conversations with my husband

      Reply
    • Beth

      I also enjoy long conversations with my husband, we are both venturing into mindfulness meditations, so it is very meaningful to be on this journey together.

      I am going through a difficult time with my daughter and so, I do practice meditation to be grounded and centered in kindness and in seeking wisdom.

      Going for walks, taking photos of flowers, talking to close friends who are spiritual and practice meditation really help me.

      Reply
      • TMP Admin

        That's so nice that you can share your experience with your husband Beth. It always helps to have a meditation buddy or two!

    • Hayley

      This was a really nice article to read, very uplifting.
      I always say to others, that I don't have time to do something nice/fun when I'm on my own. I always have too much to do and go to bed when I'm too shattered to do more.
      But actually, I always make the effort to cook myself a good meal, so that is my way of being productive (as I have to eat), yet having nice time to myself :) Thanks :)

      Reply
      • TMP Admin

        Thank you for your feedback Hayley! Cooking is such a great way to practice mindfulness when you really focus your attention on what you're doing rather than it being another 'chore'.

    • Hi, thanks for the post.

      I like the way you describe the intention of doing something for yourself as being the key. Like watching a film and eating fast food isn't bad or good on its own, but its the context within which it occurs that is key. I know I like chocolate, but I can eat too much when it's about zoning out.

      Self-care is a compassionate act and you need to practice mindful awareness in order for you to do this well. It helps me do self-care mindfully, which is different to satisfying a craving or an urge.

      Many thanks,
      Jim

      Reply
      • TMP Admin

        We're glad you like the post Jim. Thank you for your helpful insights - that's so all so important. Warm Wishes!

  • How Mindfulness Can Help Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS)

    PMS

     

    The symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome (PMS) can range from mild irritability, bloating and cramps, to acute depression, anxiety, even suicidal feelings. It can make it hard for us to focus at work, and can sometimes cause conflict at home with our loved ones.

     

    We may find ourselves snapping at people, or feeling tearful for no discernible reason. In short, it can make us feel vulnerable, out of control of our emotions, and that we are not really ourselves.

    Due to the complex nature of PMS, mindfulness unfortunately can’t offer a complete ‘cure’. However, it can offer some much-needed comfort and support to help us get through those difficult times, and can be used in conjunction with other remedies and treatments.

     

    Awareness of Your Cycle

     

    Some women find it useful to track their symptoms by keeping a diary. After two or three months, you may start to notice a pattern in your symptoms.

    Having this knowledge of our fluctuating moods means that they won’t take us by surprise so much. It also enables us to deal with them with greater awareness.

    If we discover that our mood worsens in relation to our cycle, we can mindfully watch out for the negative thoughts or beliefs that come with it. Knowing that our emotional symptoms have a physical cause (i.e. ovulation) might help us go a bit easier on ourselves, and rather than beat ourselves up about it, we can do more to be caring towards ourselves.

     

    Communicating Mindfully with Loved Ones

     

    If we become angry or irritable each month, this will affect how we communicate and interact with our partners, friends, family and even work colleagues.

    Mindfulness can help lessen the negative impact that our changing moods or physical discomfort may have on other people, because it can improve our communication. When we are mindful of how we’re feeling, we can express those feelings in a more neutral, considered way.

    Say for example that we tend to find our partner very irritating during PMS – every little thing they do seems to put us on edge. We may become snappy and a bit mean. If we’re not mindful, we could really hurt our partners feelings, or cause arguments.

    Yet, by regularly checking in with ourselves, and asking, ‘How am I feeling right now?’ we can express our feelings more mindfully.

    For example, if we notice that we’re in a bad mood, we could give our partner a heads up: ‘I’ve woken up in a really low mood. I’m doing my best, but I might be a little grouchy today, I’m sorry’.

    Or if we realise that we’ve snapped at them, we can at least acknowledge it and apologise, explaining that we didn’t mean to hurt their feelings, we’re just struggling right now.

    Simply being open, honest and mindful of what’s happening for us can make those difficult emotions easier to cope with. Trying to hide them or deny them will not only make them harder for us to deal with, but we also won’t be as sensitive to other people’s feelings.

     

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    Can’t Sleep?

     

    Our menstrual cycles can play havoc with our sleeping patterns. If we’re finding it hard to get to sleep, mindfulness can help in a few different ways.

    Thinking long term, it may be worth beginning a regular mindfulness meditation practice. Studies have shown that people who meditate daily experience improved sleep. This may be because meditation helps us step out of stress responses (which prevent us from sleeping) and into a more relaxed state.

    Meditation also helps the brain deal with those internal chattering thoughts – the type that can keep us awake at night! Research shows that meditation decreases activity in the ‘me centre’ of the brain – the part that’s responsible for mind wandering and self-referential thoughts (otherwise known as ‘monkey mind’).

    For more immediate comfort (for example, if you’re reading this in the middle of the night because you can’t sleep) some mindful breathing can help calm a racing or stressed-out mind. Each inhalation and exhalation offers a helpful anchor for our attention, rather than going around and around with whatever is going on in our minds.

     

    Mindful Comfort Eating

     

    Many woman experience food cravings in the lead up to, and during, their periods. The foods we usually want to eat at this time are high in sugar, salt, fat or carbohydrates – like chocolate, crisps, or bread. This isn’t really a problem, unless we overdo it.

    What can sometimes happen is that we’ll go overboard on the junk food then feel unwell, or guilty. Feeling guilty or ashamed then makes us feel even worse, and then we’re caught in a vicious cycle.

    Practicing mindful eating can help us enjoy our comfort foods, without overindulging and making ourselves feel even more bloated or depressed as a result. In learning to identify the seven types of hunger, we can first understand the hunger we are experiencing.

    We can then slow down the whole eating process by taking the time to enjoy how our food smells and looks before we begin to eat. Then, as we take the first bite, we can really savour how good it tastes. This way, not only will we get more pleasure from the food, but by slowing down we also become less likely to eat more than we really want to.

     

    Self-Care

     

    Self-care is always a nice thing to do, but when we’re feeling vulnerable, tired or unwell it’s especially important. Otherwise, what we’re likely to do is ignore, ignore, ignore… until things get so bad that we suddenly can’t cope anymore.

    By cultivating an attitude of self-care we can identify our when we need to restore ourselves. In doing so we can give ourselves the attention and care we need to deal with our symptoms as they arise.

    During PMS, our acts of self-care could take many different forms. It could be that we take some time out to rest, arrange to meet a good friend, treat ourselves to a comforting bubble bath or our favourite film, or if our symptoms are particularly difficult we might decide that we need to visit our doctor to talk about medication or hormone supplement options.

    It's also important that we continue to cultivate self-care when our period begins. This might mean cosying up with a hot water bottle, booking a relaxing massage or taking some gentle exercise to ease any pain we might experience. We may even wish to consider the period products we choose to use.

    Ruby, founded of WUKA Period Pants, says;

     

    "It's so important to put yourself first, and listen to your body. It's why we created so many different styles of WUKA period pants: everybody's different and responds differently during their cycle. For example, finding the right fit, flow, style and comfort in a pair of period pants goes a long way. Bleeding freely with no restrictions, mentally and physically, makes a huge difference."

     

    Whatever form it takes, we can consciously act kindly towards ourselves, listening to our needs and taking action accordingly. If we deny or suppress our needs, we become tense and stressed. However, if we show ourselves compassion, this creates a lighter and more spacious mindset for us to deal with our symptoms.

     

    The Mindfulness Project runs a regular Mindfulness for the Female Cycle workshop. View our calendar for upcoming dates. 

     

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    • Marina

      Meditation, Tea, scrapbooking, time with friends, board games and yoga with my kids, lunch dates and long curious conversations with my husband

      Reply
    • Beth

      I also enjoy long conversations with my husband, we are both venturing into mindfulness meditations, so it is very meaningful to be on this journey together.

      I am going through a difficult time with my daughter and so, I do practice meditation to be grounded and centered in kindness and in seeking wisdom.

      Going for walks, taking photos of flowers, talking to close friends who are spiritual and practice meditation really help me.

      Reply
      • TMP Admin

        That's so nice that you can share your experience with your husband Beth. It always helps to have a meditation buddy or two!

    • Hayley

      This was a really nice article to read, very uplifting.
      I always say to others, that I don't have time to do something nice/fun when I'm on my own. I always have too much to do and go to bed when I'm too shattered to do more.
      But actually, I always make the effort to cook myself a good meal, so that is my way of being productive (as I have to eat), yet having nice time to myself :) Thanks :)

      Reply
      • TMP Admin

        Thank you for your feedback Hayley! Cooking is such a great way to practice mindfulness when you really focus your attention on what you're doing rather than it being another 'chore'.

    • Hi, thanks for the post.

      I like the way you describe the intention of doing something for yourself as being the key. Like watching a film and eating fast food isn't bad or good on its own, but its the context within which it occurs that is key. I know I like chocolate, but I can eat too much when it's about zoning out.

      Self-care is a compassionate act and you need to practice mindful awareness in order for you to do this well. It helps me do self-care mindfully, which is different to satisfying a craving or an urge.

      Many thanks,
      Jim

      Reply
      • TMP Admin

        We're glad you like the post Jim. Thank you for your helpful insights - that's so all so important. Warm Wishes!

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